Funerals and stasis

Funerals are odd things. You can call them whatever you'd like: Memorial Service, Celebration of Life, etc. But let's be honest, it's a funeral. What strikes me about these services is how much editor bias exists. People love to put dead people on a pedestal. Unless they were an axe murderer, even the most common of people become extraordinary at their funeral.

Now, in this case, Lou was extraordinary. Truly she was; but even we did careful editing at her service. Two of the girls who spoke wanted to tell a story where she said a bad word, but we decided against it. I chose a song to be sung that she did quite like, but was it still her favorite, probably not. And now people refer to it as "Emmy's song." It is weird to capture the life of an 11 year old in one afternoon.

Eleven year old girls, more than probably any other group, change their likes and dislikes and personalities and clothes in an instant. Yes on the day she died she liked Hello Kitty and skulls and crossbones and the colors pink and orange and Logan but, if she had lived, it is clear that by today she would have moved on. Certainly there are things about her personality that were never going to change, she loved to make, to create, to experiment. She was friendly and kind and craved being the center of attention (the poor kid always thought she was getting the shaft, I guess she was right).

It is hard to freeze an 11 year old in time. Painful in fact. I try to guess what she would like now, what song would be her favorite, if she would be into peace signs like her sister. Even more painful is the fact that her biggest, most obvious, personality trait was that she loved to learn, loved to explore, loved to discover new things. It is hard to freeze her at 11 and even harder to imagine her not 11.